River Dog

River dog is doin' alright!  She's chillin like a villian!

NO MORE NEW BISCUITS!!!

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO TEACH AN OL' DOG NEW TRICKS, BUT YOU CAN'T EVER CHANGE IT'S DIET!!!  CAME HOME YESTERDAY TO NEW BISCUITS IN THE DOG'S JAR AT HOME.  SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER FROM PREVIOUSLY FAILED ATTEMPTS NOT TO GIVE THEM TO THEM (IT'S IN MY OLDER BLOGS...SCROLL DOWN IF YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH FOR A RACAP)!  I JUST SPENT THE LAST HOUR (IT'S 2 AM, IT WAS 1 WHEN I STARTED) TRYING NOT TO VOMIT ON MYSELF WHILE SOPPING/WIPING/ FLUSHING/SANITIZING/MOPPING/DEODORIZING THIS MESS.  NOW, DUE TO THE REMEDY I USED LAST TIME, IT SMELLS OF CHOCOLATE AND SHIT IN MY ROOM FOR THE SECOND TIME...

Poor starving boy!

I'm house sitting for Aunt Carrie, as most of you know, but I'm also keeping down the fort and feeding the hungry 16 year old son of hers'!  Man, that kid can eat, I've seen it.  However, Carrie, bless her heart, left food she knew he could fix for himself.  For example: Frozen Pizza, Easy Mac, Chili in a can...you get the idea.  Now, I'm staying there too and asked only for sandwich stuff (she left just chicken and some vermont chedder).  I decided that that simply wouldn't do.  I grabbed all kinds of stuff at the grocery store.  I got stuff to make Alfredo sauce (homemade), some red sauce for spaghetti, and a bunch of stuff for Mexican food night, which was tonight.  While I showed him how to brown beef, I asked him to open the can of refried beans.  He proceeded to attempt using an automatic opener, but failed.  "what do I do?" he asked.  I told him to get a hand crank one, to which he replied, "what's that?"  So, I found one for him (it was REALLY old school).  "What do I do with THIS?"  I laughed and opened it for him and instructed him to empty it into glass wear for microwaving.  He stood there and shook the hell outta that can, but nothing came out.  I laughed so hard I cried.  I told him to poke a hole in the bottom of the can...HE GRABS A HUGE KNIFE..."Give me that"  I screetched.  I poked a tiny hole with it..."what's THAT going to do?"  I told him to shake it again...it came out.  The look on his face was hilarious!!!

Tomorrow, I'm going to teach him how to cook NOODLES!!!

Poor starving boy...

I remembered the Trash today...

I actually remembered to take the trash out this morning, which, as many of you know, is a HUGE feat! Whenever my house master works on Mondays, it becomes MY responsibility to roll the can to the street for pick up before I leave in the morning. 9/10 times, I don't remember to do it (I'm ashamed). However, yesterday, when I returned home from Lawrence, I'm happy to say that I put away the dishes (she has new glass wear I noticed), took out the trash, and...well...just chilled all day with the 20 pound cat of mine. Forget about the chilling part and focus on the BIG PICTURE people: I TOOK OUT THE TRASH!!! :) Now, all I gotta do is remember to scoop the cat box today when I get home after a 13 hour work day! Woohoo!

Had a case of the Lazzies...

For about 2 weeks, I had simply decided that I had no interest in ANYTING I was doing in life...save for one thing: My screenplay. I've been working a couple 13 hour shifts at work lately (we're short handed), and going to school--taking a subject that, at the moment, just escapes me (Biology: Cellular Respiration). I've been writing the screenplay for over a decade...I will repeat that...over a decade. I've found the conviction to finish it recently as I approached the FINAL SCENES!!! With the help of my house master (Jenn), we've figured out why my case of the Lazzies was so severe. I was only interested in being ONE thing when I grew up and I was TOTALLY not heading there the way I was going. Yes, I need something/someway to make money until I pitch my story and hopefully succeed in Producing it...so, we've decided that I'll have to suck it up and finish schooling to be, I don't know, a Pharmacy Tech or something, while I'm finishing my screenplay. I have plan A and B. Either one will make me good money...just one will make me WAY more money, that's all. So, ever since we had this conversation, my motivation has increased and I'm kinda back to whatever kind of normal my Petty ass can achieve. :)

The fall of an empire...well, a cousin anyway.

Last night, Jenn made an awsome dinner. She was in the kitchen and I was in the living room on the couch...I had just finished and was letting the mashed taters settle (great taters!!!). The phone rings. I see on the TV Caller ID (very nifty, by the way) that it's Kim. I yell to Jenn that it's her sister, so she heads towards the phone with mashed taters in hand and next thing I know, she's taking a HUGE dive to the floor! She'd tripped over Maggie! The phone was still ringing, so she picked it up (still lying on the floor mind you) and just LAUGHED! All the while, her dogs, her loving doting dogs, aren't checking on her or licking her face in worry...no no, they're face deep in glorious mashed potatoes! Damn, and I was looking forward to those tomorrow for left overs!

I paid my tuition the other day!!! All by myself!!! For those of you who don't know, last semester, Jenn had to pry me out of the house and to the campus to enroll, cuz I wasn't doing it myself!!! I had tests taken for reading and math skills (ask her for the story on that one, she tells it better), enroll, AND buy books (gag). This go around, I enrolled (Jenn didn't know), I paid my tuition (She had no clue I had) , AND I bought my books (she found out later) ALL ON MY OWN!!! Thank you to everyone for the money that was donated, I look forward to this semester with a morbid excitement (oddly). :)