NO MORE NEW BISCUITS!!!

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO TEACH AN OL' DOG NEW TRICKS, BUT YOU CAN'T EVER CHANGE IT'S DIET!!!  CAME HOME YESTERDAY TO NEW BISCUITS IN THE DOG'S JAR AT HOME.  SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER FROM PREVIOUSLY FAILED ATTEMPTS NOT TO GIVE THEM TO THEM (IT'S IN MY OLDER BLOGS...SCROLL DOWN IF YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH FOR A RACAP)!  I JUST SPENT THE LAST HOUR (IT'S 2 AM, IT WAS 1 WHEN I STARTED) TRYING NOT TO VOMIT ON MYSELF WHILE SOPPING/WIPING/ FLUSHING/SANITIZING/MOPPING/DEODORIZING THIS MESS.  NOW, DUE TO THE REMEDY I USED LAST TIME, IT SMELLS OF CHOCOLATE AND SHIT IN MY ROOM FOR THE SECOND TIME...

Poor starving boy!

I'm house sitting for Aunt Carrie, as most of you know, but I'm also keeping down the fort and feeding the hungry 16 year old son of hers'!  Man, that kid can eat, I've seen it.  However, Carrie, bless her heart, left food she knew he could fix for himself.  For example: Frozen Pizza, Easy Mac, Chili in a can...you get the idea.  Now, I'm staying there too and asked only for sandwich stuff (she left just chicken and some vermont chedder).  I decided that that simply wouldn't do.  I grabbed all kinds of stuff at the grocery store.  I got stuff to make Alfredo sauce (homemade), some red sauce for spaghetti, and a bunch of stuff for Mexican food night, which was tonight.  While I showed him how to brown beef, I asked him to open the can of refried beans.  He proceeded to attempt using an automatic opener, but failed.  "what do I do?" he asked.  I told him to get a hand crank one, to which he replied, "what's that?"  So, I found one for him (it was REALLY old school).  "What do I do with THIS?"  I laughed and opened it for him and instructed him to empty it into glass wear for microwaving.  He stood there and shook the hell outta that can, but nothing came out.  I laughed so hard I cried.  I told him to poke a hole in the bottom of the can...HE GRABS A HUGE KNIFE..."Give me that"  I screetched.  I poked a tiny hole with it..."what's THAT going to do?"  I told him to shake it again...it came out.  The look on his face was hilarious!!!

Tomorrow, I'm going to teach him how to cook NOODLES!!!

Poor starving boy...